Spain Sets New Racism Goal

Seville, Spain— La Liga, a football league famed for its passionate fans, thrilling matches, and an unwavering commitment to controversy, has announced an ambitious new goal: to increase racist chants by a minimum of 50% by the year 2026. This bold initiative, headed by some of the league's most committed offenders, is aimed at preserving what they call the "traditional spirit" of Spanish football.

"Our fans are the heart and soul of La Liga," said one unnamed league official, while casually flipping through a book of outdated slurs. "It's not just about the football; it's about the entire matchday experience. We want to ensure that our fans, particularly those in the more... vocal sections of the stadiums, feel represented."

The official explained that while some leagues across Europe have been taking steps to reduce instances of racism, La Liga has decided to go against the grain. "Look, everyone's doing the whole 'zero tolerance' thing. But where's the originality in that? We see ourselves as trendsetters in Spanish football and won't be joining in doing the Wokey Pokey."

UEFA has responded to La Liga’s announcement with a shrug and an indignant press release about "fair play" that will probably be forgotten by the next round of group stage matches.